Home | Blog | I NEEDED TO FIND JOY IN LIFE AGAIN

I NEEDED TO FIND JOY IN LIFE AGAIN

Fundraiser extraordinaire and 5k Your Way Ambassador Tony Collier talks milestones, manhood, messages … and sharing the same sense of joy as Sir Chris Hoy.

“I’m a better man now, more humble. Seven and a half years post-diagnosis and I’ve learned a lot. About movement. About life. And about me. I’ve bounced back from a breakdown and today I actually feel lucky… Why? Because I’ve got the chance to really enjoy life. Not take things for granted. And share my experiences so others won’t feel as bleak as I did at the outset.

Before my diagnosis of prostate cancer at the age of 60 I was a runner. In the previous ten years I’d done 19 marathons and one ultra. I was a decent runner but after diagnosis I felt like I’d be judged because I couldn’t run as fast. That mattered to me at the time. Now I realise it doesn’t.

After my diagnosis everything was challenging. I was on hormone treatment, I gained weight and I lost muscle. That was hard for someone who had always been active but I kept on running. In fact, when I was diagnosed the first question I asked my oncologist was: “Will I still be able to run?” Thankfully the reply was” “Yes, and you must!” That was music to my ears because I was aware that in the past, health care professionals would tend to wrap cancer patients up in cotton wool. Being able to exercise will get you fitter for treatment but it also has mental health benefits.

It was hard to keep going with running though. When you’re diagnosed with incurable cancer you lose your self-esteem and your self worth. In my case I lost my manhood too as I was chemically castrated. People don’t talk about things like the impact of cancer on your relationship or sex life and it was challenging. The impact of cancer on partners is very much understated – it can have a profound effect on them. It can have an effect on all your relationships. And it can have an effect on your finances. I spent 18 months worrying about dying, being nervous about dying, thinking about dying. I wasn’t coping and I had a complete breakdown.

The turning point came when I saw a counsellor. I started to realise I needed to live, I needed to get a better balance and I needed to find joy in life again. So finding joy is one of my main messages to others. The other one is hope because without hope you’re hopeless. I want to show people that it is possible to live with cancer and to live well. (My feeling was – and is – if I stay well enough for long enough, then new treatments will come along. In the seven and a half years since my diagnosis approximately six new treatments have been developed).

Thankfully I found running again. My mate Kev was my inspiration for getting that passion back. 

I’d been to parkrun before but I didn’t really think too much of it. After diagnosis my fitness changed and so too did my approach to running. I suddenly realised what parkrun was all about. Inclusivity. Friendship. And belonging. You can walk, jog or run. Fast or slow. I suddenly became aware just how completely non-judgemental parkrun is. And I was suddenly clear about how important parkrun – and then 5k Your Way – was to become in my life. Since diagnosis I’ve done 226 parkruns (hampered by a knee replacement last year) and 250 in total. What I love is that parkrun now encourages people to walk. Sure those at the front are all about running but lots of people walk. The old me might have frowned on that but the new post-diagnosis me is often happy to walk.

I love my role as a 5k Your Way Ambassador (and North West Regional Ambassador) for Move Against Cancer charity. Back in 2019 when I heard about 5k Your Way I suggested the idea to my local parkrun (Wilmslow). There was lots of support and when we launched we became the first 5k Your Way group in Greater Manchester. I love the fact that at 5k Your Way we encourage people to walk, jog, run, cheer or volunteer – as much or as little as they wish. I personally get a lot out of the group but what inspires me is seeing how much others gain and I’m passionate about spreading the word. Supporting those going through their own cancer journey. Witnessing others enjoy the mental and physical health benefits of movement. And seeing the strength of community spirit, as demonstrated recently by members of the group who rallied round to ensure that one of our regulars – who was in end of life care – was able to attend her son’s wedding. Heartwarming.

My lack of prostate cancer awareness before I was diagnosed was quite profound but actually I’ve turned that into something positive because I’m now determined to raise awareness. I was clueless about the prostate cancer PSA blood test that I could have had at the age of 50. Most men don’t know about it. Last year I did 50 awareness talks, something I’m very proud of. I like to use my experiences to help others. I also love to use my ability to run to raise money: in 2018 I raised £13k for Prostate Cancer UK; the following year I did 970 miles – that’s the number of men dying of prostate cancer in a year. In 2022 I did 5k every single day of the year for MOVE and raised £21k.

My life is very different now to what it was seven and half years ago. I’m better for having this experience even though it has been challenging. If you’re facing your own cancer journey this year please do three things for me: find joy; keep hope; and get off your backside and move!”