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I Want To Help Others In The Way My Sister Was Helped

In this brave, uplifting tale of sibling love and devotion, Alisbha shares the cancer journey she and her sister Samreen have been on together…

“We came to the UK from Pakistan in 2020 when we were teenagers and soon Birmingham became home for our family. At the end of 2020 my sister Samreen began to have some terrible symptoms which tests showed might be cancer. By early 2021 things had deteriorated. She was diagnosed with head and neck cancer and it was spreading so fast the medics themselves were shocked. My English wasn’t great back then but I took on the responsibility of learning the language so I could help my sister. My background was in science/medicine (I had hoped to become a doctor) so at least I had a little understanding of what was going on.

Samreen was operated on immediately – in Oxford. Because it was at the height of covid only one person could go with her so I went. It was scary as Samreen was only 17 and I was just 18. The next day we were back home and a gruelling round of chemotherapy started. There were so many awful side effects and because it was head and neck cancer, Samreen couldn’t eat which was terrible. She had such long, beautiful, silky hair and we knew she’d lose with chemo so our dad cut it first to soften the blow. After 6 or 7 rounds of chemotherapy she was sent to Manchester to get proton beam therapy. The doctor said to me that because I could speak decent English I should go with my sister. I was so young, had little confidence and was very shy but I thought: I have to do this.

Because of covid we weren’t allowed out other than to attend the hospital appointments. We had to stay in a hotel and spent weeks going from the hotel to the hospital and back to the hotel. Just the two of us. It was so very hard for us both. I didn’t know how to cook or what to do to look after my sister – suddenly I had to grow up. Samreen couldn’t eat so I had to put everything through a feeding tube for her. We’d only been in the UK for 8 months, my English wasn’t great and we were just kids – looking back I don’t know how I did it! I certainly gained a lot of confidence during that period.

Samreen was amazing. She was so brave and so positive. She never cried, never said: “why me?” Communication was difficult – she could barely whisper. After 6 weeks we were allowed home. Tests then showed that all the cancer was gone which was amazing but there were long-term side effects and a long road to recovery ahead.

At one point Samreen got pneumonia and was very ill. I was in Pakistan at the time and it was terrifying because Samreen was on a ventilator for 6 weeks. She had a tracheostomy and was told her vocal chords would be affected and that she’d be on a feeding tube for the rest of her life. It was very scary. But there was light at the end of the tunnel in the shape of MOVE Against Cancer…

Samreen was paired with Helen, one of the cancer rehab specialists. I was right there with Samreen all the way, doing all the communication as she couldn’t speak. Helen was so kind and understanding. She prescribed some gentle arm and leg exercises and also some breathing exercises to help improve Samreen’s lungs and vocal chords. The exercises were fantastic and so too were the weekly chats. Samreen felt at home with Helen. It was good to see her so enthusiastic and so motivated. 

The improvements have been amazing. Samreen can now get herself up out of bed, go to the toilet herself and move the arm that wouldn’t move at all before. The breathing exercises have helped her lungs and she continues to do the exercises Helen set. Because of the treatment Samreen previously didn’t want to interact with people. The Move online programme has helped her to connect with others and has given her confidence. As her sister and having gone through each step of this cancer journey with her, it’s amazing for me to see the positive changes. Culturally what we did on the road to recovery wasn’t a problem. Our father was very open-minded about all of this – he said you simply have to do what it takes. Samreen and I want everyone to know about the Move Online Programme. It really helped so much.

I had originally considered becoming a doctor but when we were in Manchester for Samreen’s treatment I learned about radiography. Witnessing what Samreen went through, knowing her pain and seeing how much radiography helped her to get better gave me the desire to learn more. I am now studying radiography at Birmingham City University because I want to help others in the way my sister was helped. It’s about putting something back.

(Picture by Samreen).